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The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge, by Tristan Taormino Barbara Carrellas
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Review
"Whatever you’re into, whatever you try, the authors want you to do it right, consensually, and safely."—A Roll in the Hay"I can't recommend this enough."—Krissy Novacaine"It's essential reading. Each chapter focuses on a different kink, and each is written by a different expert in that field. It is an excellent tome for introducing someone to kink and for deepening your own interests (if by chance you are into that kind of thing). Contributors include Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, Fifth Angel, and Edge, writing about spanking, bondage, fisting, rough sex, domination, submission, masochism, sadism, tantra, and role play, among others. This is a rock star sex educator lineup which includes just about everything you'd need to know to pique your interest, juice up your Fetlife profile, and get yourself out into the world of leather, BDSM, and kink. It's not a substitute for hands-on learning, classes for which are abundant in most major cities, but it will get you started and deepen your understanding of any of these topics—be they brand new to you or something you'd like to deepen. Tristan Taormino, as usual, gathered the definitive words on the most common kink skills and philosophies, and this book is essential reading for kinky and queer sexual adventures."—Lambda Literary Summer 2012 Cliterotica Review"It will educate, inspire, and challenge both newcomers to the world of kink and experienced BDSM players."—Erotica Readers and Writers Association"Enter The Ultimate Guide to Kink. This opens that door for people to embark on that journey of knowledge and understanding, through unique and honest insight from people really in the know. I actually think that’s one of the books greatest appeals; rather than this just being a general guide describing various forms and subtypes of kink, it really takes you into the world of each topic. And, I believe, this has been achieved so very well because Tristan Taormino has sought out some of the most experienced and knowledgeable people for each topic, to talk about their special areas of interest and expertise (I have included a complete list of contributors and the chapters they wrote at the end of this review), giving the reader the feeling that they really are getting a genuine and authentic insiders view."–Distinctly Female"In this collection Taormino smoothly manages the difficult task of creating a book that can speak to a wide range of audiences. The Ultimate Guide to Kink provides what I imagine is an approachable and welcoming introduction to many aspects of BDSM play that I wish I’d had available to me when I jumped into BDSM a decade ago. From Felice Shay’s chapter on “Playing with Rough Sex” to edgier and taboo role play like “Digging in the Dirt: The Lure of Taboo Role Play” by Mollena Williams, the book truly has something for folks of all experience levels, from a beginner who’s curious about exploring to more experienced readers interested in being challenged by discussion of kink community/culture, edge play and consensually pushing our limits. The Ultimate Guide to Kink is a landmark collection destined to be a touchstone classic to recommend to anyone interested in BDSM exploration."—Lambda Literary"An informed and informative 475-page compendium focusing upon diverse verse varieties of unconventional human sexuality, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino provides 'user friendly' techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex, and incorporating alternative sexual activities into one's sex life. Of special note is the information presented on sexual role-play fantasy. Clearly for an adult readership only, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge is highly recommended and instructive reading for men and women seeking to expand their experiences with respect to their sexuality."—Midwest Book Review"This book is exactly what you need if you have ever had questions about kink. This book is such a nice introduction into kink, and it is also an instructional guide if you are not sure where to begin."—Kissin Blue Karen"If you have ever wondered about kink then you need to pick up this book. This book will answer all of you questions. If you are curious about kink or an old hand at it this is a book you need to add to your collection. There are chapters on role-playing, dominance, submission, and much much more. If you are new to kink this book explains the different types of things you can try as well as a having a safeword. There is a chapter that shows you how to do bondage using ropes or scarves. There are tips and techniques. They even talk about aftercare at the end of the chapters. This is the complete deal."—Night Owl Reviews“So many of the people who write me at ‘Savage Love’ are curious about kink — some days it accounts for half the mail — but they don’t know where to start. I’m going to be recommending this collection of essays. This is more than just a guide to kink, it’s more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers, and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they’ll get out of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guard — everyone can learn from this collection.”—Dan Savage"Tristan Taormino has gifted us with a magnificent collection of essays from kinkdom's finest educators: consider it required reading for every kinkster who lives life on the hot side."—Dossie Easton, co-author of The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book"Tristan Taormino has created a perfect compendium of kink that covers the nuts and bolts (with illustrations!) of spanking, bondage, role-playing, rough sex and much more, as well as the philosophies, motivations and deeply personal experiences of an array of BDSM players. If "Brutal Affection" sounds like an oxymoron to you, read on. Keep a copy in your bedroom—and your toy bag!"Rachel Kramer Bussel, Editor, Spanked and Best Sex Writing 2012"Finally, a smart, comprehensive, and brave book on kinky sex for this generation. Tristan Taormino's Ultimate Guide to Kink is the first really good new book on the subject in years. BDSM and kink aficionados are lifelong learners, endlessly fascinated with their own sexual and personal growth. They do love their sex guides! I expect this to be the BDSM bible for the next decade." — Felice Newman, author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book
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From the Back Cover
Expand Your Erotic Horizons Beyond the Ordinary"This is more than just a guide to kink, it's more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they'll get out of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guard—everyone can learn from this collection." —Dan SavageAward-winning author, filmmaker and sex educator Tristan Taormino presents this bold and sexy treasury that runs the gamut from expert tutorials on kinky erotic practices to thought-provoking essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power and pleasure. The Ultimate Guide to Kink features the expertise of renowned educators writing passionately on their favorite subjects, including Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel and Edge. This comprehensive volume includes:• techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex and more, illustrated by Katie Diamond• lessons on how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life• role-playing fantasies from the popular to the taboo• provocative and personal manifestos on dominance, submission, sadism and masochism
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Product details
Paperback: 475 pages
Publisher: Cleis Press; premium edition (March 13, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 157344779X
ISBN-13: 978-1573447799
Product Dimensions:
5.9 x 1 x 8.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.2 out of 5 stars
105 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#52,747 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book just seems like it hasn't nailed down what its audience actually is. For example, the two sections of the book both begin assuming you're a rank novice who doesn't know what S&M is an abbreviation of, and who has never played dirty-cop with a sex partner. And that's great - I'm always on the hunt for beginner-friendly books, things I can pass along to my friends for education or entertainment.But then it moves onto essays on animal roleplay, or age play, or Mollena Williams' piece on edge play that includes scenes of rape, incest, gay-bashing, and a bit where a handicapped person gets thrown out of their wheelchair and beaten, and I go "oh thank god I didn't lend this to anyone yet." Don't get me wrong - these essays are brilliantly written, informative, and interesting, and definitely worth reading, but they are probably not necessary or useful in a book that *seems* to be aimed at beginners.So, in short, even though it seems (to me) like a book for newbies, I would NOT recommend it for beginners or novices unless they're unflappable or you're trying to scare the pants off them, or they're reading it in conjunction with many other books on the subject.
I have always been curious about kink. When you watch a movie or tv with kink included in a scene, there seems to be a focus on the physical rather than the mental. As a psychology major, I am more interested in the mental aspect. This guide gives a lot of both.
If you are kinky, or think you may be kinky, or you hope to possibly find out that you're kinky, I can't recommend this book enough. I don't care how long you've been in the scene, or how many pins are on your bar vest, you should have a copy of this book! I guarantee that there will be something in it that you didn't know, or haven't tried, or haven't looked at in quite that way before. And chances are very, very good that there will be something among those new areas that will make you curious, if not tempted. The ultimate guide to kink is a fantastic variety of essays on so many different ways to express our kinky sides, all written by people who really know their stuff in the area they're writing about.While I didn't recognize all of the names in the list of authors, I recognized enough for it to read like a Who's Who of the BDSM education circuit, all grouped together in one convenient tome to tell you all about the areas about which they're most passionate. While the voices differ (understandably) they are all thoughtful, insightful, passionate, well-written, well-edited and arranged with a flow that makes you want to read the whole thing in one sitting, cover-to-cover. And sexy! This book is put together in such a way that even for the things that might not be "my kink" I couldn't help but feel the erotic charge that was brought to the table by those who love it. This is one seriously hawt book.The book is definitely more geared toward letting their voices of its contributors shine than on bombarding you with pretty pictures and illustrations (which suits me just fine,) but there are enough diagrams in certain sections, particularly bondage and fisting, that if you choose to pick up the ebook copy instead of the paper one I suggest you install it on a computer or larger tablet as well. I found the labelling on the diagrams illegible on my 6" kindle screen.The book also does an excellent job of reminding us about what's important about all that kinky stuff that we so love: we do it because we love it, and it only works when everyone involved is getting something (positive) out of it. Consent, negotiation, and safer sex practices are critical, and I'm grateful that all the contributors to this book can't stress that fact enough. Bah, I can just hear some of you muttering, that stuff's for sissy amateurs, real kinksters can't be bothered with those things! To those hypothetical detractors I say: Take another look at the list of contributors to this book, really look at that list of names, and I double-dog-dare you to tell me that that list of kinky superstarts aren't "real" knksters. Go on. I triple-dog dare you.My rating: 5/5 caged and red-cheeked puppy-boys.
Tried tying my cat up and she wasn’t having any of it. Still licking my wounds. They should put a warning on the book “Don’t use on animalsâ€. Or at least “Use at your own risk when tying up your catâ€.
If the title had been different, I would have given more stars.... The essays were good, but this was by no means a "guide" to kink. I adore Tristan Taormino, but this one got left in the donation bin at my local play space.
Really kind of lame. A basic internet search would give better information...
This is a great collection of essays on various BDSM related topics written by a group of phenomenal writers that should be read by both tops and bottoms. The people who have contributed to this book really know what they're talking about and is a great addition to any BDSM library.
If you've ever wondered where to go to get good kink information this is the book to read. With wonderful illustrations, examples, and just plain old easy to understand common sense for those who don't even know where to begin. The Ultimate Guide will help you come to terms with some of your lightest and hopefully with some of your darkest kinks all the while enforcing the understanding that consent and safety and key to all healthy kinky and non kink relationships.
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